Covert Narcissistic Abuse: Main Signs and How to Protect Yourself

If you wouldn’t be manipulated by a pouting 10-year-old child who’s trying to guilt you into doing her chores for her, don’t allow a sulking, overgrown 30-year-old child to affect you either. Instead of retaliating outright, they’ll often find ways to sabotage the other person or turn others against them. If there’s any change or upheaval in the dynamic, they’ll do everything covert narcissist and alcohol within their power to get things back to what they consider normal. Someone whose work colleague earned a promotion may insinuate that the person earned it by sleeping with the boss, for example. As such, their thoughts about other people’s inferiority to themselves will manifest as internal dialogs full of judgmentalism, jealousy, condescension, and contempt.

tips to heal from covert abuse

If your covert narcissist husband or wife (or other partner) is suddenly exhibiting many of these behaviors, take steps to protect yourself. Quite often, a discard will happen seemingly out of nowhere and may leave you in a very difficult place. The phrases below are among the most common things covert narcissists say. You might have heard different variations of them over the years, or they may help you to identify covert narcissists you’ll come across in the future. As such, they often decry their partners, family members, friends, and co-workers to others in order to garner sympathy and emotional support.

Covert narcissism: your complete guide (meaning, causes, signs, traits, examples, how to deal, and more)

• Alcohol use disorder and narcissism are common co-occurring disorders, and in some cases, the symptoms of the two conditions may present similarly [1].
• Aggressive behavior and pathological narcissism were linked to alcohol overuse in a 2017 study of Canadian men.
• As a result, children of covert narcissist parents learn early on that their caregivers can’t be trusted.
• Limiting personal interactions, asking to be moved to a different location in your office, taking breaks at a different time, or simply cutting off contact might be what is necessary if you are being hurt by someone’s narcissism.

Covert narcissistic abuse is something that many people experience, although they aren’t always aware of it. Before you start beating yourself up like you’re some monster on a hill, psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD, explains how to cope with covert narcissism and how it’s different from the typical narcissism we’ve come to expect. On the other hand, the term “alcoholic” describes someone who has an alcohol use disorder (AUD), which is the clinical term for an alcohol addiction. Even though NPD isn’t a personal choice, you don’t have to tolerate narcissistic abuse. Other people have experienced narcissistic abuse and have also overcome the emotional pain that comes from it.

Feelings of depression, anxiety, and emptiness

Again, if care is not coordinated by a qualified mental health professional, the overlapping treatments can lead to drug interactions, unintended side effects, and the possible abandonment of treatment. With NPD, for example, there are no drugs specifically used for the treatment of the personality disorder, but antidepressants or anxiolytics may be prescribed if depression or anxiety is present. For AUD to be diagnosed, a person must meet one of four possible criteria for alcohol abuse, three of seven possible criteria for alcohol dependence, and two of 12 possible criteria for AUD symptoms. Making a dual diagnosis of NPD and AUD can be challenging and something that only a qualified mental health professional can make.

Once they receive this affirmation, they experience grandiosity and may behave in an arrogant and entitled way. However, without affirmation, the same individual may feel depressed and ashamed. Therefore, the presence or absence of external validations of their value determines whether a person may have the traits of grandiose narcissism or vulnerable narcissism.

In family relationships:

On the flip side, grandiose and vulnerable NPD were both independent factors for alcohol abuse, concluded a 2019 study in the Journal of American College Health. In this section, we’re going to touch upon the traits and behaviors commonly exhibited by covert narcissists. They don’t all exhibit every sign and trait, but you’ll likely recognize most of them in vulnerable narcissists around you. Due to their introversion, instead of bragging openly, covert narcissists display reserved smugness and judge everyone as inferior. They might act aloof and disinterested or make dismissive or discounting gestures, like looking away, sighing, yawning impolitely, or acting bored.

Repeated relationship cycles.

Lack of empathy.

NPD diagnosis